Monday, March 12, 2012

The Ogre

Peering between the heavy vegetation, the nasty vision of the creature that met Dent’s eyes surely matched the foul odor the youngster had been following with his nose. Just yesterday he had heard two castle guards talking about it next to the blacksmith’s shop. They had tried to speak of it in secret but no one really paid much attention to an eleven year old boy. They had hardly noticed him there as Dent pretended to clean the mud from his father’s horse’s shoes. An ogre would surely be something to see, he had thought to himself as he listened.

Dent had been quite jealous listening to his older brother talk about the “adventures” their father took him on. Mainly they were just small trips to the next village as they made deliveries there. But to listen to his brother talk you would have thought they had been off hunting dragons. With only the promise of his father that he too would soon be old enough to join them, Dent became impatient. When he heard of the sighting of the ogre and it’s whereabouts, he had made up his mind to have his own adventure, one that would certainly outdo any his brother would ever imagine.

And here he was right at this very moment peaking out at the hideous giant that had only yesterday been made out of fairy tales and folklore!

Holding his nose, Dent watched the huge creature picking it’s yellow stained teeth with it’s long dirty fingernails broken on their edges. Phew, what a smell. It’s green-gray skin was caked with dry mud, strands of hair popping through here and there. Wait until he told his brother about this!

14 comments:

  1. I love reading your posts!
    The previous one reminded me of The Gruffalo! :)

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    1. Thank you Megan. I had to go back and look up the Gruffalo. I see what you mean.

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  2. You brought right into the scene with your details! Great story-telling, Roland

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    1. Thanks for reading Roland. Soemday I might take these short posts and turn them into something, but for now it keeps me going.

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  3. I like the relationship Dent has with his older brother. It sounds exactly how a younger brother would think. Nice work. =)

    Also, I tagged you on my blog! If you feel like participating in any of those bloggy sorts of things, it's there for ya.

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    1. Always love good feedback! lol I will try to find time to do the "tag". Work has been kickin' my butt this week-bleh.

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  4. Dent, what a great name! I like the story, but I have a suggest. Try to limit back story in order to make sure it doesn't overshadow the plot as it happens. I only say this because I'm guilty of the same thing Keep up the good work:)

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    1. Thanks for the feedback Mark. I don't know where "Dent" came from but if it works I just go with it.

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  5. I love the details - it brings the story alive with mental pictures right away.

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  6. Thank you E.D. Posts like this are good practice for me.

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  7. Your storytelling is smooth and extremely well-detailed. I want Dent to out-do his brother on this one! What a story he'll have to tell...hope he makes a get away before the Ogre discovers him lurking!

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  8. It almost sounds like something taken from The Hobbit. Great ogre discription.

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  9. Thank you for the kind compliments Candy and Susan. Now I need to figure out what is next on to post...hmmm.

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  10. The description is great, I can totally smell that ogre! I love the characterisation of the sibling rivalry too. I have older siblings and that's exactly what it's like!

    By the way, I've tagged you in the Lucky 7 Meme over at my blog.

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